So it's been almost a month since I last posted. Shame on me!
Overall, things have been pretty routine. There's been one major issue that is affecting our schedules. Dh's back suddenly wonked out on him, badly. If that wasn't enough on its own, he had a sciatic attack on top of it. He was on medical leave for a while, then hobbled back to work rather than extend the leave further. Walking is one of the things that is recommended - one of the few things he can actually do - to help his back out, so he's been walking to work pretty much every morning.
Lately, Youngest has been getting up early to walk to work with him, then she walks home on her own after they part ways. That last part bothered him quite a bit at first - she's still his baby, after all! She's also 15 years old, for crying out loud, and I think she can navigate a straight path for 20 minutes! *L* Okay, so yeah, the walk *does* involve navigating aggressive panhandlers along the way. They tend to be out in greater force early in the morning. I have more concerns about them than the prison up the block from our place. About the only thing to worry about there is the sweet medicinal smoke wafting through the windows of the healing centre. Sweetgrass, I think. That's only in the evenings, though. At least that we've noticed.
Eldest has a lot on her plate these days. She's working hard to get the first few chapters of her web comic done before she goes live. She also wants to get a few paintings done to replenish her inventory. There has been some delay in all that, as we had a hot spell. Working with pen, paper, ink, watercolour paints and markers does not go well when one has sweaty hands. We moved the portable air conditioner upstairs, which made it livable up there, but that was about it. It's cooled down a bit since, and she's finally getting a bit of work done.
One of the things she likes to do while working is listen to lectures from the Great Courses. Here's a sampling of what she's been listening too.
The History of the English Language (in several parts - and Youngest has been listening to this one, too)
Consciousness and its Implications
Popes and the Papacy: a history
Skeptics and Believers: religious debate in the Western intellectual tradition
That's on top of the books and movies she's been taking out. I really ought to bring back the library lists. They have been remarkably eclectic! We've been doing a monthy movie night with our co-op, so she's always on the lookout for some rare gem.
Youngest has spent the summer plowing her way through the library's mythology and manga collections. She avoids Greek and Roman mythology in favour of Nordic and other Northwest European tales. At the moment she has several different versions and translations of Beowulf, which Eldest is finding fascinating as well. The use of language is quite refreshing to them, I think. Quite the contrast with the manga series she's been reading, like Fruits Basket, Ouran High School, Nausica (the books are better than the movie), Death Note, Rurouni Kenshin, and so on.
Youngest's guitar lessons have undergone a bit of a change up. Her instructor has been having a hard time finding a balance between lessons and his job. It's a long bus right and, buses being what they are, he would sometimes arrive late. Not that we noticed much. I always bring my crochet project bag and Youngest keeps a book of word searches in her purse, which she does while listening to music on headphones, so we don't even notice the time much. Still, he was having problems, so he's reworked his schedule to have days just for teaching. We're pretty flexible with our schedule, so when he asked if we were good to change days, we were okay with that (the alternative was to have the same day, but a couple of hours later). So starting today, her lessons will now be on Mondays, and a bit later in the afternoon.
I'm glad she's interested enough to keep going for another year. It's been quite different from her voice lessons. She started those off very eagerly, but by the end of the year, she wanted to move on. She's also interested in adding piano and has asked me to each her. I can teach her to read music, but I'm trained in organ, not piano. We do have a piano - a 200 yr old upright grand (they don't even make those anymore) and family heirloom - so the option is there. I picked up a book for beginner piano that is aimed at adults that will be very useful. Every now and then, after she practices her guitar, she'll head downstairs and work on the piano. Unfortunately, the piano is like all flat surfaces in the household. It doesn't take long before it's covered in stuff. My fault for a lot of it, as I look at my committee binder, paperwork, file folders and other stuff scattered all over the bench and front of the piano. :-(
This piano is a fascinating instrument. Being an upright grand, it has a number of removable parts. When the keyboard cover is lifted, there's a front panel that tilts open at the bottom, as usual. The front half of the top is hinged, so you can open that up, which allows the front panel to be removed completely. Then there's the panel under the keyboard, above the foot petals. That can be removed, too. Take those out, and the that grand piano sound is in its full force! It's a beautiful instrument, too, with it's carved panels, trim and columns, in a deep, rich dark colour. It's an honour to have inherited it (it was supposed to go to the eldest of the family, but they didn't want it). On the down side it's 1000 pounds and, on its own, cost about $1500 to have it brought out here. The movers had a heck of a time getting it up the stairs. When they were done, the owner told me that if we move, don't call them! *L*
So that's a bit of what we've been doing for the last while.
Pretty boring.
I'm good with that. ;-)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 05, 2011
So you're thinking of home schooling, part two: How much?
Ah, yes. "It's the most wonderful time of the year" again, as that gawdawful Staples commercial tells us. That time of year when parents joyously send their miserable kids off to school.
Or not.
For those crazy enough to actually want to keep their kids at home and *gasp* spend more time with them, home schooling is another option.
Time to write another post for those who are thinking about it, but not quite sure they're ready for it. The first post was, Can you?
Let's now go to another question I often hear from parents.
How much does it cost?
Short answer?
As much as you're willing, or able, to spend.
It all depends on how you do it, and what's available where you live.
In one sense, home schooling can potentially be very expensive. There are so many home school curricula out there, so many neat educational tools and toys, and so many things out there to do. It would be so easy to blow great wads of cash on all this stuff.
Don't.
First off, check things out where you live and see what's available. In Canada, for the most part, you're on your own. Even for some provinces that technically are supposed to offer resources to home schooling families, like in BC, that doesn't mean the board you're registered with will. Or perhaps you live in a province like Manitoba, where all home schoolers are registered in one office, where you can also access grade level correspondence course (though they haven't called them that in many years), for varying costs. Or you might live in Alberta, which actually passes on school funding to registered home schoolers, either through purchase orders or by reimbursing receipts. Be wary of funding, though. Funding tends to come with strings attached and government bureaucrats wanting to tell you how you can or can't teach your own kids.
Some home school support groups have a number of things available, ranging from group field trips at reduced cost to lending libraries, and even some that have equipment and resources that can be borrowed, such as scientific equipment or courses on CD or DVD.
Public libraries can have all sorts of resources as well. My own kids have started up The Great Courses again. These are pretty awesome. Along with a plethora of books, audio/visual resources and software, many also have organized events and classes, book readings, lectures and so on.
If you're just starting out and not confident that you can teach to your legal requirements, packaged curricula can be useful. Especially if home schooling is going to be a temporary thing, due to health problems or other extenuating circumstances. They can be ridiculously expensive, though. I've heard from way too many home schoolers who started out with visions of their kids happily at the kitchen table, working on some fantastic curriculum they bought that they just knew their kids would love, only ... it just didn't work out. Sometimes, the curriculum didn't fit their children. Sometimes it didn't fit the entire family. They regretted spending all that money on curriculum, wishing instead that they'd spent the money on museum passes or whatever their kids turned out to be into. On the other hand, I have also heard of families who found a purchased curriculum that fit their families perfectly (FIAR is one a lot of families have spoken highly of).
When it comes to packaged curricula, I would advise waiting before buying. Especially if you're pulling your kids out of school. Give your family some time to figure things out, then decide if a packaged curriculum is worth spending the money on.
There's one expense I would hope you don't have to shirk on, though.
Books.
Yes, I know, electronic books are all the rage right now. They're cheaper and you can fit many hundreds into a single reader. That's probably quite useful. Even so, nothing is quite the same as books. I'd still recommend getting lots of real, printed books. Haunt the second hand stores for unique finds, or get to know a local book seller who can order the more esoteric stuff in for you. Yes, I know you can order books online, but aside from supporting your local book store (yay, capitalism!), a real person knowledgeable in the trade is a gold mine. A lot of local book stores also have interesting events available, too. Take advantage of them.
And for crying out loud, don't go using up their time to find a book, then go order it online. That's just tacky and rude. Very bad form.
Other things I would recommend spending money on if you can. Family passes at museums, nature centres, science centres, art galleries, recreation centres, etc. Some cities offer passes that include a number of facilities. These often give you discounts in any shops they might have. There are even national passes available. If you are low-income, you may qualify for some of these passes for free or at highly discounted prices.
Join a local support group. Any memberships fees tend to be nominal. Aside from networking opportunities, activities and social support, some group membership cards will also be honoured by some businesses for a teacher's discount.
Join trading or exchange groups. Many places have freecycle groups and it's amazing what you can get through them. Some groups have book exchanges, clothing exchanges, or other types of exchanges (our group has had yarn and fabric exchanges). For these, everyone brings stuff to contribute that are still good, but their own families have grown out of. These get set out for everyone else to look at. People pick what they will find useful. Anything left over either gets taken back by their owners or donated to charity. The big challenge with this is to not come back with more than you brought! *L*
Then there are lessons and classes. Music lessons (with the accompanying cost of buying or renting instruments), voice lessons, art classes, dance classes, cooking classes, language classes, craft lessons, and even tutoring for any areas your child might need some extra help on. Don't forget sports - team sports, solo sports, martial arts classes, and all the necessary equipment they need, too. It would be way too easy to spend huge amounts of money on such things.
Be very selective and creative. If money is tight, some teachers are willing to barter for lessons (be generous with what you are offering; the teachers of these classes would be giving up income for this, so make sure it's worth it for them). There may be programs available to cover the cost of them. Perhaps there are family members who have skills they can pass on (and it can be a great way to get doubting family members engaged).
With our days no longer controlled by the school schedule, it can be very tempting to fill that time with all those cool things we can sign our kids up for. Resist and be selective. It is not beneficial to burn out the entire family, trying to get to all these lessons and classes. You may want to try one thing per child one year, then give them the option to try something else the next.
For us, when we did take part in such things, we had one rule. If we were going to spend money on these things and take the time out of our day to get them to and from their lessons, the girls knew they had to finish it. Unless there was something drastically wrong, they couldn't just decide to stop in the middle of something that we've agreed to pay for for the entire year, or however long it might be. These were things they told us they wanted to try, and sure they might decide they didn't like it as much as they thought they would. They still had to finish. They knew from the start that they were making a commitment for X amount of time, and part of the deal was that they'd keep that commitment. We expected them to take full advantage of what was being offered, and not blow it off. Sadly, this has sometimes meant that our kids were the only ones actually engaged in the class they were taking, while others in the class wasted their time. Perhaps I can convince Eldest to add a blurb about just how "fun" the one art class she ever took turned out to be.
Aside from such things, however, the basic stuff required for home schooling can be very cheap. After all, you are no longer required to buy a years worth of pencils, pencil crayons, binders, notebooks, glue sticks and even facial tissue (I was shocked to see that on an old neighbour's school list; each of their kids had to bring 6 boxes of facial tissue for the classroom supply cupboard), and so on. There are no more extra fees sprung at you or fundraising events. Oh, and you can buy your kids new clothes when they're needed, rather than because it's the start of school and they just HAVE to have the same things all their friends are getting.
Most of what you'll need, you probably already have, and what you do need to get, you can get little by little as you need them and can afford them, rather than all at once.
As you can see, there is no simple answer to how much it costs to home school our kids. Some people manage to do it while spending almost no money at all. Others spend thousands of dollars.
Take a bit of time to figure it out. Get to know what's available, what your kids need, and what they want. See what fits for the entire family. What works for your own family is likely to be quite different from others. That's just fine. There are no hard and fast rules.
Instead of having a school system telling you and your family what you have to pay for, you get to take control and decide for yourselves.
Which can be pretty exciting!!
Or not.
For those crazy enough to actually want to keep their kids at home and *gasp* spend more time with them, home schooling is another option.
Time to write another post for those who are thinking about it, but not quite sure they're ready for it. The first post was, Can you?
Let's now go to another question I often hear from parents.
How much does it cost?
Short answer?
As much as you're willing, or able, to spend.
It all depends on how you do it, and what's available where you live.
In one sense, home schooling can potentially be very expensive. There are so many home school curricula out there, so many neat educational tools and toys, and so many things out there to do. It would be so easy to blow great wads of cash on all this stuff.
Don't.
First off, check things out where you live and see what's available. In Canada, for the most part, you're on your own. Even for some provinces that technically are supposed to offer resources to home schooling families, like in BC, that doesn't mean the board you're registered with will. Or perhaps you live in a province like Manitoba, where all home schoolers are registered in one office, where you can also access grade level correspondence course (though they haven't called them that in many years), for varying costs. Or you might live in Alberta, which actually passes on school funding to registered home schoolers, either through purchase orders or by reimbursing receipts. Be wary of funding, though. Funding tends to come with strings attached and government bureaucrats wanting to tell you how you can or can't teach your own kids.
Some home school support groups have a number of things available, ranging from group field trips at reduced cost to lending libraries, and even some that have equipment and resources that can be borrowed, such as scientific equipment or courses on CD or DVD.
Public libraries can have all sorts of resources as well. My own kids have started up The Great Courses again. These are pretty awesome. Along with a plethora of books, audio/visual resources and software, many also have organized events and classes, book readings, lectures and so on.
If you're just starting out and not confident that you can teach to your legal requirements, packaged curricula can be useful. Especially if home schooling is going to be a temporary thing, due to health problems or other extenuating circumstances. They can be ridiculously expensive, though. I've heard from way too many home schoolers who started out with visions of their kids happily at the kitchen table, working on some fantastic curriculum they bought that they just knew their kids would love, only ... it just didn't work out. Sometimes, the curriculum didn't fit their children. Sometimes it didn't fit the entire family. They regretted spending all that money on curriculum, wishing instead that they'd spent the money on museum passes or whatever their kids turned out to be into. On the other hand, I have also heard of families who found a purchased curriculum that fit their families perfectly (FIAR is one a lot of families have spoken highly of).
When it comes to packaged curricula, I would advise waiting before buying. Especially if you're pulling your kids out of school. Give your family some time to figure things out, then decide if a packaged curriculum is worth spending the money on.
There's one expense I would hope you don't have to shirk on, though.
Books.
Yes, I know, electronic books are all the rage right now. They're cheaper and you can fit many hundreds into a single reader. That's probably quite useful. Even so, nothing is quite the same as books. I'd still recommend getting lots of real, printed books. Haunt the second hand stores for unique finds, or get to know a local book seller who can order the more esoteric stuff in for you. Yes, I know you can order books online, but aside from supporting your local book store (yay, capitalism!), a real person knowledgeable in the trade is a gold mine. A lot of local book stores also have interesting events available, too. Take advantage of them.
And for crying out loud, don't go using up their time to find a book, then go order it online. That's just tacky and rude. Very bad form.
Other things I would recommend spending money on if you can. Family passes at museums, nature centres, science centres, art galleries, recreation centres, etc. Some cities offer passes that include a number of facilities. These often give you discounts in any shops they might have. There are even national passes available. If you are low-income, you may qualify for some of these passes for free or at highly discounted prices.
Join a local support group. Any memberships fees tend to be nominal. Aside from networking opportunities, activities and social support, some group membership cards will also be honoured by some businesses for a teacher's discount.
Join trading or exchange groups. Many places have freecycle groups and it's amazing what you can get through them. Some groups have book exchanges, clothing exchanges, or other types of exchanges (our group has had yarn and fabric exchanges). For these, everyone brings stuff to contribute that are still good, but their own families have grown out of. These get set out for everyone else to look at. People pick what they will find useful. Anything left over either gets taken back by their owners or donated to charity. The big challenge with this is to not come back with more than you brought! *L*
Then there are lessons and classes. Music lessons (with the accompanying cost of buying or renting instruments), voice lessons, art classes, dance classes, cooking classes, language classes, craft lessons, and even tutoring for any areas your child might need some extra help on. Don't forget sports - team sports, solo sports, martial arts classes, and all the necessary equipment they need, too. It would be way too easy to spend huge amounts of money on such things.
Be very selective and creative. If money is tight, some teachers are willing to barter for lessons (be generous with what you are offering; the teachers of these classes would be giving up income for this, so make sure it's worth it for them). There may be programs available to cover the cost of them. Perhaps there are family members who have skills they can pass on (and it can be a great way to get doubting family members engaged).
With our days no longer controlled by the school schedule, it can be very tempting to fill that time with all those cool things we can sign our kids up for. Resist and be selective. It is not beneficial to burn out the entire family, trying to get to all these lessons and classes. You may want to try one thing per child one year, then give them the option to try something else the next.
For us, when we did take part in such things, we had one rule. If we were going to spend money on these things and take the time out of our day to get them to and from their lessons, the girls knew they had to finish it. Unless there was something drastically wrong, they couldn't just decide to stop in the middle of something that we've agreed to pay for for the entire year, or however long it might be. These were things they told us they wanted to try, and sure they might decide they didn't like it as much as they thought they would. They still had to finish. They knew from the start that they were making a commitment for X amount of time, and part of the deal was that they'd keep that commitment. We expected them to take full advantage of what was being offered, and not blow it off. Sadly, this has sometimes meant that our kids were the only ones actually engaged in the class they were taking, while others in the class wasted their time. Perhaps I can convince Eldest to add a blurb about just how "fun" the one art class she ever took turned out to be.
Aside from such things, however, the basic stuff required for home schooling can be very cheap. After all, you are no longer required to buy a years worth of pencils, pencil crayons, binders, notebooks, glue sticks and even facial tissue (I was shocked to see that on an old neighbour's school list; each of their kids had to bring 6 boxes of facial tissue for the classroom supply cupboard), and so on. There are no more extra fees sprung at you or fundraising events. Oh, and you can buy your kids new clothes when they're needed, rather than because it's the start of school and they just HAVE to have the same things all their friends are getting.
Most of what you'll need, you probably already have, and what you do need to get, you can get little by little as you need them and can afford them, rather than all at once.
As you can see, there is no simple answer to how much it costs to home school our kids. Some people manage to do it while spending almost no money at all. Others spend thousands of dollars.
Take a bit of time to figure it out. Get to know what's available, what your kids need, and what they want. See what fits for the entire family. What works for your own family is likely to be quite different from others. That's just fine. There are no hard and fast rules.
Instead of having a school system telling you and your family what you have to pay for, you get to take control and decide for yourselves.
Which can be pretty exciting!!
Sunday, September 04, 2011
First concert
I am happy to note that, in spite of the crowd and deafening volume, they are both actually enjoying this. I just wish the friend who got us the tickets had not had to bow out at the last minute because she wasn't feeling well.
Thursday, September 01, 2011
Not Back to School
I ended up taking an inadvertent break from this blog over the summer. Time to get back into action.
Today was our local Not Back to School picnic. The girls still have no interest in taking part in the park days, but Youngest came along with me for the picnic. We spent most of the time chatting with a good friend, so we had ourselves a great time.
It was a rather odd picnic this year. So many new faces! There seemed to be fewer old faces, too. Youngest saw some kids she knew, but barely recognised anymore. The local paper had done a very positive story on the picnic yesterday, which may have brought some curious families out to join us. Perhaps some will go on to join the group, too. There are always some who take in the picnic and pretty much nothing else with the group throughout the year, too. Whatever works. ;-)
Now that we're officially up and running for the school year, plus the summer activities have started to die down, posts should be more regular again.
Today was our local Not Back to School picnic. The girls still have no interest in taking part in the park days, but Youngest came along with me for the picnic. We spent most of the time chatting with a good friend, so we had ourselves a great time.
It was a rather odd picnic this year. So many new faces! There seemed to be fewer old faces, too. Youngest saw some kids she knew, but barely recognised anymore. The local paper had done a very positive story on the picnic yesterday, which may have brought some curious families out to join us. Perhaps some will go on to join the group, too. There are always some who take in the picnic and pretty much nothing else with the group throughout the year, too. Whatever works. ;-)
Now that we're officially up and running for the school year, plus the summer activities have started to die down, posts should be more regular again.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Back again.
Wow. Take off for a couple of weeks and Blogger changes everything. Will need to get used to this new posting format!
I probably shouldn't be posting right now - it's already past 1am, and I've got a demo to do tomorrow - but I know if I don't do it soon, it won't get done at all. Too many things getting in the way!
Our trip was long and tiring. The visit had its good times and bad. The trip back always seems so much shorter than heading out. I know it's just a time zone illusion, but it still feels that way.
Youngest and I headed out on the Saturday, drove until we found one of the rare rest areas in Manitoba, then crashed in the back of the van for the night. We stopped much, much later than I intended to. We had brought a couple of foam mattresses but forgot our bedding, other than a sheet to cover the mattresses with. That turned out okay, since we always keep blankets in the van anyways.
The rest area we found was a full service one, with indoor bathrooms, lots of parking and plenty of motion activated light. One area was filled with semi trailers and a few RVs in amongst them. The area we parked in had a few other cars and trucks, but was otherwise rather empty. I'd parked in a spot at the end of one side, which turned out not to have been a good idea. We kept getting blinded by the motion detection light, which I think was being set off by birds or insects or something. I vaguely considered moving the van, but since we'd had to move the seats forward as far as possible, then put our luggage, etc. all in front, there was just too much to move to make it worthwhile.
We had intended to sleep in, but the morning was just too bright to let us! We'd brought food for the road, so we took the time to have ourselves a lovely little picnic. Which is when I realized the spot I parked in probably wasn't meant to be a spot at all, since it had a curb cut to access the picnic area. Oops.
I'm happy with out things worked out food-wise for the trip. In past road trips, we tried to bring food along, but often ended up eating gas station sandwiches or beef jerky. *L* This time, I had a couple of insulated bags. One is actually a picnic backpack, complete with a 4 pc set of dishes and cutlery, glasses, a large insulated pocket, two insulated side pockets for bottles, and a plastic backed picnic blanket. I found it at Goodwill, which meant it was missing two of the butter knives and two of the plastic "wine glasses" were cracked, but it's still the best $9 I ever spent! *L*
We also brought along one of my insulated grocery bags. We kept stuff that only needed to be cool, not cold, in there, while the stuff that needed to stay cold was in the backback with reusable icepacks. We packed 3 different kinds of deli meats, a small wedge of brie, some smoked cheese we'd never tried before, a bit of provolone, celery and carrot sticks, apples, a bottle of V8 for Youngest and some grapefruit juice for me. Some buns, a bit of mayo for the sandwiches, and a tiny cutting board with a paring knife finished things off. The sandwiches we made were soooo good! Love brie in a sandwich. :-D
Sure beat gas station food! *L*
A few more hours of driving, and we made it to my parents' farm. My mom was at church by then, so it was just my dad. I kept family updated through facebook until we reached the cell phone deadzone. Where my parents live, I found there was enough signal to send a text message (sporadically), but not enough to make a phone call. We reactivated Dh's old Blackberry for Youngest (yes, we are now a 4 cell phone family!), as my own phone does not get service in Manitoba. My parents don't have a computer, but I was able to keep my computer literate family members updated, and they in turn kept my parents updated. I sent one last update before hitting the dead zone, and my sister called my dad to let him know we were almost there, so that worked out really well.
This time, we stayed at the farm with my parents. There was some doubt as to whether this was a good idea, but I'm glad we did. We were running around so much, there wasn't much chance for disaster anyhow.
It was good to see my father. He's having a harder time getting around and I really wish they had home care coming in to give them a hand, but they won't accept it. My brother's death has really taken a lot out of him, but my parents are survivors. Painful as it is, they've seen so much death in their lives, it's not going to destroy them. My dad turns 88 this year, and he plans to hit 100. He might actually do it, if my mother doesn't put him over the edge.
Seeing my mother was its usual manic depressive experience. One minute, things are going good, the next she's ranting about religion or politics or telling me how we should live. In the past, I would never have left my mother alone with the girls, but Youngest is old enough and capable enough to handle my mother. My mother seemed to take advantage of every opportunity to get Youngest alone and talk to her. She had a few negative things to say about home schooling, myself and Dh for not "allowing" them to go to school, and so on. She was thrilled with Youngest mentioned she was kinda interested in going to college and offered financial help with that. By the time we left, Youngest told me that, if she did end up going to college, she would certainly NOT accept money from her Babcia! She knows full well that sort of thing comes with strings attached.
Overall, though, it worked out well. There were a few unpleasant moments, but not enough to completely ruin the time we spent there.
Of course, we did our best to visit other family members. My middle brother lives up the road from my parents, and now that my youngest brother is gone, he's born the brunt of helping them out. There's a whole soap opera situation there. My brother is in a lot of pain - both physically and emotionally - and has a lot of bitterness and anger going on. My oldest brother and his wife was able to come out soon after we arrived. Normally, my oldest brother can only make it out once a week, but there's been a lot going on, so he's been out more often. The farm is getting old and falling apart, and it's getting to be a major issue. My late brother could do a lot of the stuff himself, but there's none among us that can match him on that. With one of the big jobs that needs to be done right now, a plumber is going to have to come in with an excavator and dig down to the bottom of the foundation! My oldest brother is doing the best he can, but he's got a full time job, a small farm of his own, and it's an almost 2 hour drive for him to come out. We were able to go to their place the day before we left, and it's looking so great. Their neighbours laughed at them when the bought the property because of flooding issues, but after years of hard work and a whole lot of money, the place is looking amazing, while their house and driveway remain high and dry.
We got to visit my sister as well. Her farm is about an hour's drive away, and we ended up staying overnight. With all the flooding going on in Manitoba, the creek they live on is really full. They're not in any danger where they are, but the water is the highest they've seen for this time of year. My BIL has been helping my oldest brother out with a lot of the work at my parents, but his own parents are getting on in years, too. They share the same yard, so they see each other every day. One day my BIL might be at my parents' farm, helping dig a trench, then redoing the floors of his own home, the floors of his parents home, plus the usual work of tending cattle and field, fixing tractors, and so on - all with an injured back. My sister, meanwhile, has a job in a nearby city, plus her own farm and garden work, as well as the odd freelance design job. My sister tries to visit my parents regularly, but there's only so much they can manage.
The most difficult thing about the trip, of course, was the memorial. I visited my brother's grave a few times. Short visits, unfortunately, as we'd be driven away by the mosquitoes. During the memorial, I made sure we were slathered with bug spray!
We had the memorial on Canada Day; the day before my brother died 1 year ago. There was a morning mass, then we all headed to the cemetery. The company that made the permanent memorial stone did a great job. It's quite beautiful. The priest did a little ceremony for the blessing. There where quite a few people, both at the church and at the cemetery. It was mostly family and friends of my parents. My brother's friends stayed away. I think my mother's behaviour had a lot to do with that. My niece made it out with her boyfriend, but my nephew said he didn't want to be there. My brother's widow wasn't there, but that was no surprise. She's cut us off completely. I need to work on not allowing myself to feel very terrible things about her and her behaviour since my brother died. Nothing I'm going to write about here, though!
There was a reception later on, catered by a neighbour. It was a very long and difficult day for my dad, but he made it through okay. Between cane and walker, he got about all right. We drove him to the church, but he found the van too high for him to get in and out of, but he was able to get in and out of my SIL's care much more easily, so that worked out. It must have really hurt for him not to be able to go to the funeral last year, since that was in the city. He wasn't going to miss any part of it this time.
I went back to the cemetery the next day, which was the actual anniversary of my brother's death. Clearly, I was not the only one. Some more flowers had been added, and there were a couple of empty bottles of my brother's favorite beer. My family had left a couple of lawn chairs by the monument (which came in handy during the blessing ceremony) and they were set up in front of the monument together. A candle in a glass hurricane lamp my mother had left was burned right down. At least two people had spent quite a bit of time there. No idea who. My mother swings by regularly to tend not only my brother's grave site, but other family members there as well. She regularly finds things people have left for my brother; everything from his brand of cigarettes, to a bottle of whiskey of particular significance. He's getting quite the collection of solar powered garden lights - something else he was fond of - and a whole lot of flowers, both real ones in pots and fake ones in vases.
My brother's passing has left a huge hole in a lot of people's lives.
The cemetery is in a lovely little spot. There was one time Youngest and I swung by after dark, as I wanted to see how the lights looked. It's in a secluded little spot, surrounded by trees on three sides. It was so beautiful. The garden lights glowing softly (including ones at a couple other grave sites), fireflies blinking all over the place, and a ground fog glowing brightly in a farmer's field across the road. The only down side was the insane amount of mosquitoes!!! My family already knows that this cemetery is where I want to be buried, too.
My own family were not our only visits. We got to see Dh's parents a few times as well. They're just a short drive from my parents, and they have cell phone and Internet service. *L* Thankfully, Dh's brother and his family were able to come out from the city and visit, so we were able to see them as well. Had they not been able to come out, we would have missed them entirely. It's always fun visiting Dh's parents. They're such interesting folks! I have to admit, I'm always struck by how *young* they are. At least compared to my own parents. There's about a 20 years age gap between Dh's parents and mine. I keep forgetting that my parents started a family fairly late in life.
With all the visiting and preparing, Youngest and I were constantly on the go while out there. When it was time to head home, I intended to take it easy and we'd find a rest area to stop for the night again. We took a different route home this time and, while it was longer, it had a lot more rest areas! In the end, the closer we got to home, the more it seemed to just not make sense to stop for the night! It was just a few more hours to home, after all.
It was about 2:30 am when we got home. *L*
You'd think we'd finally get to take it easy after that, but the last week has seen us running around almost as much as while we were away! So much to do. I think yesterday night was the first time I finally got to sleep in! Not tonight, though. I was supposed to have my first crochet class yesterday, but no one had registered for it, so tomorrow I'm doing a demo. Now that I'm home, I'll have to see about drumming up some business and get some students!
I probably shouldn't be posting right now - it's already past 1am, and I've got a demo to do tomorrow - but I know if I don't do it soon, it won't get done at all. Too many things getting in the way!
Our trip was long and tiring. The visit had its good times and bad. The trip back always seems so much shorter than heading out. I know it's just a time zone illusion, but it still feels that way.
Youngest and I headed out on the Saturday, drove until we found one of the rare rest areas in Manitoba, then crashed in the back of the van for the night. We stopped much, much later than I intended to. We had brought a couple of foam mattresses but forgot our bedding, other than a sheet to cover the mattresses with. That turned out okay, since we always keep blankets in the van anyways.
The rest area we found was a full service one, with indoor bathrooms, lots of parking and plenty of motion activated light. One area was filled with semi trailers and a few RVs in amongst them. The area we parked in had a few other cars and trucks, but was otherwise rather empty. I'd parked in a spot at the end of one side, which turned out not to have been a good idea. We kept getting blinded by the motion detection light, which I think was being set off by birds or insects or something. I vaguely considered moving the van, but since we'd had to move the seats forward as far as possible, then put our luggage, etc. all in front, there was just too much to move to make it worthwhile.
We had intended to sleep in, but the morning was just too bright to let us! We'd brought food for the road, so we took the time to have ourselves a lovely little picnic. Which is when I realized the spot I parked in probably wasn't meant to be a spot at all, since it had a curb cut to access the picnic area. Oops.
I'm happy with out things worked out food-wise for the trip. In past road trips, we tried to bring food along, but often ended up eating gas station sandwiches or beef jerky. *L* This time, I had a couple of insulated bags. One is actually a picnic backpack, complete with a 4 pc set of dishes and cutlery, glasses, a large insulated pocket, two insulated side pockets for bottles, and a plastic backed picnic blanket. I found it at Goodwill, which meant it was missing two of the butter knives and two of the plastic "wine glasses" were cracked, but it's still the best $9 I ever spent! *L*
We also brought along one of my insulated grocery bags. We kept stuff that only needed to be cool, not cold, in there, while the stuff that needed to stay cold was in the backback with reusable icepacks. We packed 3 different kinds of deli meats, a small wedge of brie, some smoked cheese we'd never tried before, a bit of provolone, celery and carrot sticks, apples, a bottle of V8 for Youngest and some grapefruit juice for me. Some buns, a bit of mayo for the sandwiches, and a tiny cutting board with a paring knife finished things off. The sandwiches we made were soooo good! Love brie in a sandwich. :-D
Sure beat gas station food! *L*
A few more hours of driving, and we made it to my parents' farm. My mom was at church by then, so it was just my dad. I kept family updated through facebook until we reached the cell phone deadzone. Where my parents live, I found there was enough signal to send a text message (sporadically), but not enough to make a phone call. We reactivated Dh's old Blackberry for Youngest (yes, we are now a 4 cell phone family!), as my own phone does not get service in Manitoba. My parents don't have a computer, but I was able to keep my computer literate family members updated, and they in turn kept my parents updated. I sent one last update before hitting the dead zone, and my sister called my dad to let him know we were almost there, so that worked out really well.
This time, we stayed at the farm with my parents. There was some doubt as to whether this was a good idea, but I'm glad we did. We were running around so much, there wasn't much chance for disaster anyhow.
It was good to see my father. He's having a harder time getting around and I really wish they had home care coming in to give them a hand, but they won't accept it. My brother's death has really taken a lot out of him, but my parents are survivors. Painful as it is, they've seen so much death in their lives, it's not going to destroy them. My dad turns 88 this year, and he plans to hit 100. He might actually do it, if my mother doesn't put him over the edge.
Seeing my mother was its usual manic depressive experience. One minute, things are going good, the next she's ranting about religion or politics or telling me how we should live. In the past, I would never have left my mother alone with the girls, but Youngest is old enough and capable enough to handle my mother. My mother seemed to take advantage of every opportunity to get Youngest alone and talk to her. She had a few negative things to say about home schooling, myself and Dh for not "allowing" them to go to school, and so on. She was thrilled with Youngest mentioned she was kinda interested in going to college and offered financial help with that. By the time we left, Youngest told me that, if she did end up going to college, she would certainly NOT accept money from her Babcia! She knows full well that sort of thing comes with strings attached.
Overall, though, it worked out well. There were a few unpleasant moments, but not enough to completely ruin the time we spent there.
Of course, we did our best to visit other family members. My middle brother lives up the road from my parents, and now that my youngest brother is gone, he's born the brunt of helping them out. There's a whole soap opera situation there. My brother is in a lot of pain - both physically and emotionally - and has a lot of bitterness and anger going on. My oldest brother and his wife was able to come out soon after we arrived. Normally, my oldest brother can only make it out once a week, but there's been a lot going on, so he's been out more often. The farm is getting old and falling apart, and it's getting to be a major issue. My late brother could do a lot of the stuff himself, but there's none among us that can match him on that. With one of the big jobs that needs to be done right now, a plumber is going to have to come in with an excavator and dig down to the bottom of the foundation! My oldest brother is doing the best he can, but he's got a full time job, a small farm of his own, and it's an almost 2 hour drive for him to come out. We were able to go to their place the day before we left, and it's looking so great. Their neighbours laughed at them when the bought the property because of flooding issues, but after years of hard work and a whole lot of money, the place is looking amazing, while their house and driveway remain high and dry.
We got to visit my sister as well. Her farm is about an hour's drive away, and we ended up staying overnight. With all the flooding going on in Manitoba, the creek they live on is really full. They're not in any danger where they are, but the water is the highest they've seen for this time of year. My BIL has been helping my oldest brother out with a lot of the work at my parents, but his own parents are getting on in years, too. They share the same yard, so they see each other every day. One day my BIL might be at my parents' farm, helping dig a trench, then redoing the floors of his own home, the floors of his parents home, plus the usual work of tending cattle and field, fixing tractors, and so on - all with an injured back. My sister, meanwhile, has a job in a nearby city, plus her own farm and garden work, as well as the odd freelance design job. My sister tries to visit my parents regularly, but there's only so much they can manage.
The most difficult thing about the trip, of course, was the memorial. I visited my brother's grave a few times. Short visits, unfortunately, as we'd be driven away by the mosquitoes. During the memorial, I made sure we were slathered with bug spray!
We had the memorial on Canada Day; the day before my brother died 1 year ago. There was a morning mass, then we all headed to the cemetery. The company that made the permanent memorial stone did a great job. It's quite beautiful. The priest did a little ceremony for the blessing. There where quite a few people, both at the church and at the cemetery. It was mostly family and friends of my parents. My brother's friends stayed away. I think my mother's behaviour had a lot to do with that. My niece made it out with her boyfriend, but my nephew said he didn't want to be there. My brother's widow wasn't there, but that was no surprise. She's cut us off completely. I need to work on not allowing myself to feel very terrible things about her and her behaviour since my brother died. Nothing I'm going to write about here, though!
There was a reception later on, catered by a neighbour. It was a very long and difficult day for my dad, but he made it through okay. Between cane and walker, he got about all right. We drove him to the church, but he found the van too high for him to get in and out of, but he was able to get in and out of my SIL's care much more easily, so that worked out. It must have really hurt for him not to be able to go to the funeral last year, since that was in the city. He wasn't going to miss any part of it this time.
I went back to the cemetery the next day, which was the actual anniversary of my brother's death. Clearly, I was not the only one. Some more flowers had been added, and there were a couple of empty bottles of my brother's favorite beer. My family had left a couple of lawn chairs by the monument (which came in handy during the blessing ceremony) and they were set up in front of the monument together. A candle in a glass hurricane lamp my mother had left was burned right down. At least two people had spent quite a bit of time there. No idea who. My mother swings by regularly to tend not only my brother's grave site, but other family members there as well. She regularly finds things people have left for my brother; everything from his brand of cigarettes, to a bottle of whiskey of particular significance. He's getting quite the collection of solar powered garden lights - something else he was fond of - and a whole lot of flowers, both real ones in pots and fake ones in vases.
My brother's passing has left a huge hole in a lot of people's lives.
The cemetery is in a lovely little spot. There was one time Youngest and I swung by after dark, as I wanted to see how the lights looked. It's in a secluded little spot, surrounded by trees on three sides. It was so beautiful. The garden lights glowing softly (including ones at a couple other grave sites), fireflies blinking all over the place, and a ground fog glowing brightly in a farmer's field across the road. The only down side was the insane amount of mosquitoes!!! My family already knows that this cemetery is where I want to be buried, too.
My own family were not our only visits. We got to see Dh's parents a few times as well. They're just a short drive from my parents, and they have cell phone and Internet service. *L* Thankfully, Dh's brother and his family were able to come out from the city and visit, so we were able to see them as well. Had they not been able to come out, we would have missed them entirely. It's always fun visiting Dh's parents. They're such interesting folks! I have to admit, I'm always struck by how *young* they are. At least compared to my own parents. There's about a 20 years age gap between Dh's parents and mine. I keep forgetting that my parents started a family fairly late in life.
With all the visiting and preparing, Youngest and I were constantly on the go while out there. When it was time to head home, I intended to take it easy and we'd find a rest area to stop for the night again. We took a different route home this time and, while it was longer, it had a lot more rest areas! In the end, the closer we got to home, the more it seemed to just not make sense to stop for the night! It was just a few more hours to home, after all.
It was about 2:30 am when we got home. *L*
You'd think we'd finally get to take it easy after that, but the last week has seen us running around almost as much as while we were away! So much to do. I think yesterday night was the first time I finally got to sleep in! Not tonight, though. I was supposed to have my first crochet class yesterday, but no one had registered for it, so tomorrow I'm doing a demo. Now that I'm home, I'll have to see about drumming up some business and get some students!
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