Transition

A few quiet moments for a few quiet thoughts.

New Year's Eve is upon us, as we transition into 2012.  I hope that the upcoming year will be one full of blessings for you and your loved ones.

The girls have taken on a lot more of this year's preparations.  Well, quite nearly all of them, actually! *L*  It's been a quiet one.  Eldest and I headed out for a while to see what was happening downtown.  I had expected to see things going on, as in the past the city had started events in the early afternoon at various venues.  This year there's something completely different, and it looks like everything that used to be spread out is now in one area.  They were prepping and doing sound checks as we went through, but nothing had started.  Ah, well.  We found a liquor store that was still open, so we picked up a cheap bottle of sparkling wine to crack open at midnight.  :-D

Youngest is all excited to make the cheese sauce for a fondue we'll be doing later - we've already taste tested the two cheeses Eldest picked out.  One is a smoked cheddar we've tried before and love, but it rather expensive, so it's a rare purchase for us.  The other is a new cheese from Ireland with a bold taste that will be perfect for a fondue.  As we get closer to midnight, Eldest will taking on stuff for the BBQ.  It's been years since we've done a New Year's midnight BBQ.  Steaks are marinading, and there will be seafood skewers as well.  I'm looking forward to it.

Dh has been struggling with feeling completely useless lately.  Because it's painful for him to stand for any length of time, bend, or even sit without squirming, he hasn't been able to help with anything at all.  Frustrating.

It's been an odd sort of year overall.  Not a particularly good one.  I just got news yesterday that another fixture of my home town passed away.  She was only in her mid-60's, too.  I knew she had struggled with her health for a long time, but it's always a shock when someone who's been such a permanent part of one's past is gone.  She is the second such person we've lost this year.  I saw both of them last when Youngest and I went to my brother's memorial on the anniversary of his death.  The woman who just died catered the reception for us, along with just about every other event held in our town. 

I know that, as I get older, I will be losing the people I know.  I expect that.  What I didn't expect is for so many of them to be younger.  My parents are in their 80's now, and the people who have been passing are all about 20 years younger; sometimes much more.  Some are the same ages as myself and my siblings.

Looking back, it feels like this past year has been one of little progress on my own part.  It hasn't been for my children.  Eldest is doing quite well with her art, and I am quite proud of how things are going for her.  Youngest has been going through a slump, but she's enjoying her guitar lessons and just got her beginner's drivers license (I've promised to take her for a driving lesson tomorrow - it'll be the first time she's been behind the wheel since our trip in the summer). 

The last few months have probably been hardest on Dh.  He's struggled with his back issues off an on for years, but for it to crash on him so badly these last few weeks has been the worst of all.  I'm just so thankful that the company he works for is so supportive for him to be working from home.

Other family members have had their struggles as well.  Dh's sister's girlfriend was suddenly diagnosed with cancer and has been in and out of the hospital.  Who knows how long it was there before they found out about it.  Thankfully, she too has an understanding employer who has been really supportive of them (she and her girlfriend work for the same company).  I try to keep them in my prayers as much as I can, along with my FIL and another SIL, who have been struggling with health problems that are unusually similar, right down to long term problems from bug bites, of all things.  At almost the same time, too!

It all makes me extra grateful for my own parents.  Sure, my dad has had a lot of past problems that he's still dealing with.  He just got his pacemaker replaced with an upgrade, which is a pretty awesome thing to think about.  He continues trucking along, steadfast as ever, even with having to deal with my mother's oddball behaviour.  My mother, meanwhile, is barely slowing down.  She's staying active and travelling.  If I'm still going as strong as she is at 80, I'll consider that a huge accomplishment. 

As for myself, I don't know what to think.  I've become a crochet instructor, but I'm not sure how to work things out with the store I'm working with.  There's a specific type of manager I'm supposed to work through.  I'm responsible for promoting my own classes and making sure the registration forms are all up to date, etc.  I still have to go to the store itself to do that, but it seems like I'm an inconvenience every time I have to ask to get into the office to use their computer system and print things out.  There's a specific managerial position I am supposed to deal with, and 4 people have gone through that position since I started.  One was in and gone before I ever met her, and there's a new one now that I've yet to meet.  I think the most frustrating part is that I spoke to the previous person about a week before I found out she was gone, and she had never mentioned anything.  My family has been telling me to break off with the store completely and just teach independently.  I think I should at least finish my instructor's course, though.  The first part is waiting at my instructor's office in New York to be graded.  The second part is what will give me the official "professional" designation.  The curriculum I use at the store is by the same company that I signed up for the course through.  I can download and print off my curriculum from their site.  However, the registration process, and its accompanying paperwork, is only available through the store's computer system.  It's all a bit of a convoluted mess, partly because of their antiquated computers and software that borders on obsolete, partly because of problems actually getting use of those computers and being able to set up classes.  I have 6 new classes to start teaching, the registration paperwork is printed out and in the book, but because of the manager change, I haven't got any dates scheduled to teach them.  Heck, just picking up my paycheck is more trouble than it's worth.  They can mail them to me. :-/  Don't get me started on trying to set up automatic payroll deposits! 

I am encouraged by my NaNoWriMo success, though.  I did my 50,000 words, which of course is not enough to actually finish and entire novel.  I wanted to continue, but with December being the busiest month for us, I decided to take a complete break from writing it in December.  My biggest concern was that, if I stopped writing, I'd lose interest in the project and not want to get back to it, or just forget about it in the business of our days.  That didn't happen.  I've actually been itching to get back to it!  I'll start up again in January.  I will continue to set myself monthly word goals, though not 50,000, since I have other commitments I need to pick up again, but 25-30,000 isn't unreasonable, I think.  Who knows what will become of it.  Perhaps it'll even get published and give us the income that will allow Dh to quit his job?  *L*  Yeah.  Not likely.  From some of the topics I touch on in the book, I doubt I'll find a publisher willing to carry it.  Mind you, the publishing business has changed so dramatically these days, who's to say what will or won't get carried anymore.  Lord knows, some pretty horrible stuff is on the bestsellers lists these days.  The bar isn't exactly high.

We shall see what the New Year brings.