Cars, Courts and Communications

Lots and lots of running around lately.  This is wreaking havoc on our gas budget! *L*

Youngest has started her driver's instructor training - all of one session so far, but another in the morning.  I was also able to get her a bit of driving time for her to log in as well.  She's got a card to mark down how much time she drives, including with the instructor.  The driving school recommends 50-60 hours of driving time before taking a road test.  She's definitely a lot more comfortable behind the wheel after just the one session.  I'm hoping to be able to give her more opportunities to drive, but the limitations of her learner's license make it a bit difficult at times.  Ah, well.

Also, the vehicle she gets to drive during her sessions is a lot smaller than our minivan, and handles quite differently.  I'm glad to see her awareness of the differences.  Learning to drive on a larger vehicle will sure help with her confidence, I think!

Meanwhile...

The Watcher and Beetle Child have been doing well.  We had a bit of a breakthrough, though I expect other incidents like this over the next while.  The Watcher had been moody and taking it out on people; especially her sister.  Eldest called her on her behaviour, asking her what was wrong.  At first, The Watcher said there was nothing wrong.  Then it was because she was missing her dad.  Then it was because she wanted a Popsicle.  No, actually, it was because she really missed her dad...

Eldest could see that these answers were not genuine and, after making sure she knew that we wanted to help, but that we couldn't help if we didn't know what was really wrong, she finally told The Watcher to go to bed and have some down time to think about it.  Then she came to me, suggesting I try talking to her, which I had already decided to do.

It didn't take long.

When I got there, The Watcher was clearly upset and on the verge of crying.  I invited her to sit with me on her sister's bed (since I can't climb up on the top bunk!) and gave her a hug. I told her I was sure that missing her dad was part of what was wrong, but that I thought maybe she was feeling angry, too.  After asking a few questions, it all started to pour out.  She started to talk about court dates, and how she feared that when her dad came back, she could only see him at limited times, as they already do with their mom.  She was upset because he had promised to spend a whole day with them before leaving, then suddenly he was at the airport and gone.  She was upset about not knowing when he would be coming back.  Basically, it was just all bubbling inside her.

I told her it was perfectly understandable for her to be having so many confused feelings, and that she and her sister have had to deal with a lot of things they really shouldn't have to be dealing with as such young ages.  I ended up sharing some stories from my own family to help explain how sometimes, things don't turn out the way we want them to, but we have to deal with what we've got.  I told her that, while we could hope that he would be back in a few months, we really don't know much of anything, so their mom and I have to plan for all sorts of possibilities.  I made sure to tell them (her sister had joined us by then) that we were glad that they could be with us, and that we would make sure that they were taken care of, no matter how things worked out.

By the end of the conversation, she was feeling a lot better, and even laughing and joking.  We got some cuddles in and were able to move on.

After that, there was a noticeable improvement in her behaviour.  In fact, the last time I saw their mom, she commented that she has noticed positive changes in both their behaviours in just this short length of time.  They're really starting to open up and blossom. 

On top of this, I joined their mom for a court date the other day.  This was something the dad had instigated.  This was actually a follow up session, as the court wanted more time to look at the files and have a longer time in court to deal with the issue.  The dad, who was representing himself, has apparently blocked the email addresses from the lawyer, refused papers he was served with and not picked up registered mail he had been sent, all of which was information he needed to be able to represent himself.  He made a vague attempt to cancel the court date but, when told the process he needed to go through to do so, didn't.  He never told anyone but us and the girls that he was even gone.  He cut communication off with them entirely. 

Needless to say, the court session went well for their mom!  Most of it will have no affect on him until he comes back, and nothing has been taken from him.  The big thing for me is that the court has appointed me interim guardian.  This will make things much easier - for example, I can sign the home school registration papers for the girls.  I have joint decision making with their mom.  If he's gone for 6 months or more, I can apply for full guardianship, which would be a simple process under the circumstances.  Whatever the situation is with the dad, as long as he's gone, their mom is the only person who has any legal responsibility for the kids and, with MS being the illness that it is, there's no predicting how her health will progress over the next few months.  Hope for the best, plan for the worst.  If something happens to her, I can now still take care of things.  I just have to wait on the court documents to be sent to me to make it official.  Well, it's already official.  I just need the paperwork as proof.

As for their dad, we have heard nothing from him since the phone call I wrote about in my last post.  He has not responded to the emails I'd sent (it's unlikely that he still has had no Internet connection of any kind in all this time).  He has not tried to call again.  He had been at his brother's when he called, but we have no way of knowing if that's where he still is.

At this point, he's completely vanished.

Who knows what will happen next.