Oh, man...

... these poor kids.

Today, Youngest and I went out for tea and what was supposed to be a driving lesson (which got skipped, because she is having troubles with her eyes.  We're going to have to take her back for another eye test).  This was the first chance I've had to talk to Youngest about some of the things she's had to deal with since our two new charges have joined us.

I've also decided on handles for them.  The 7 yr old is the Beetle Child, because when she goes to bed she curls up like an adorable little beetle.  I have to fight the urge to squee every time I see her do it. *L*  The 8 1/2 yr old is The Watcher.  We're not sure what's going on yet, but she has a tendency to come up and just... watch.  She doesn't say anything, though she looks like she's about to.  When asked, she says she doesn't want anything.  She just... watches.

Which is disconcerting when I discover her behind me while I'm on the computer checking my email, and I find she's trying to read it over my shoulder.  I've had to explain to her that reading over some one's shoulder uninvited isn't a good thing, but it's especially not a good thing to be reading other people's email.  Her response?  "That's your email?"

Hmmm.

So.  Back to today's chat with Youngest.

The other day, while I was out with Eldest for a couple of hours, Youngest was home with Dh and the girls.  The girls had been promised that we would use their Blizzard machine to make some blizzards before the packets it came with expired.  Since Eldest and I were out and Dh's back has gone downhill again, that left Youngest to take care of it.

The machine had never been used before, so Youngest first had to wash it, then assemble it, use a hammer to crush ice cubes in a bag, and finally set it up so they could take turns working the machine.  When finished, she doled out the resulting treat, which they ate with gusto. Then she cleaned it all up afterwards.

The entire time this went on, they managed to be in the way at every step of preparation, from blocking the path between kitchen sink and table to hammering to assembly, etc.  They completely ignored her requests for space.  They were also dismissive, displayed a demeanor Youngest described as extremely entitled and not once did they thank her for what she did, nor show any sort of appreciation for all the work she did to prepare everything and do everything. 

Youngest told me that, for the first time in her life, she was angry enough to cry!  Rather than take it out on the girls, she want for a very long walk.  At least a couple of miles.

When I found out a bit about it, I had a chat with the girls and let them know that Youngest was very hurt and angry about what happened, and that she deserved both thanks and an apology.  When she got back, they did thank her for her help (though I don't recall hearing either apologize) and one of them had whipped up a bracelet for her as a gift.

I don't know that they actually got anything out of it, though.

So that was one thing Youngest filled me in on.  The other was about a conversation of sorts she'd had with the girls one night.

I don't recall at the moment if I mentioned that their father is a Muslim ... of sorts.  He doesn't seem to be much of a practicing Muslim, other than in some of the things he tells the girls and that he expects them to do.  Some of these things are not really part of Islam, and some are actually haram - forbidden by Islamic law.

Then I heard about this conversation.

Apparently, The Watcher started the conversation by telling Youngest (paraphrasing slightly), "just to let you know, so don't freak out or anything, but we're Muslims."  Youngest told them she already knew that.  Then The Watcher began telling her about Islam - at least the version she has been taught!

First, there was the story of Adam and Eve, except she skipped the Eve part.  When Youngest mentioned Eve, The Watcher threw in a dismissive comment about Allah having given Adam a wife.

Then, without actually naming them (it took a while for Youngest to figure out who she was talking about), she started talking about Cain and Abel.  Allah apparently liked Abel because he was a good boy, but didn't like Cain because he was a bad boy.  Then, when Cain killed Abel, Allah came down in the shape of a bird to teach Cain how to bury the body, and that's why we bury bodies now, and isn't that a good thing, because if we didn't the world would smell really bad.

Youngest did not know how to properly respond to this.

At some point, The Watcher asked Youngest if she knew who Jesus was.  She answered yes, and was then told that Jesus was a prophet.  Youngest mentioned that she was a Christian and pointed out her Bible in her bookshelf.  Beetle Child then piped up to ask what a Bible was, to which The Watcher answered, "it's a book that Jesus wrote."

Youngest did not know how to properly respond to this.

The conversation then got around to dreams, with The Watcher asking if Youngest ever had bad dreams.  Youngest answered that she didn't usually have dreams, but when she did, they tended to be weird.  She was then informed that:

Bad dreams are caused by Shaitan.

Weird dreams are also caused by Shaitan.

No dreams at all are a good thing.

Youngest did not know how to properly respond to this.

This from the child that was telling me in another conversation (while this was happening, in fact) that sometimes, when she eats and still feels hungry afterwards, her father taught her to say a word, which she repeated to me, telling her that it would make her not be hungry anymore, and it really works!  So if she still feels hungry after eating, or if her stomach hurts, she should say this word and she feels better.  She had been given another word to say if she was in bed and couldn't sleep, and it really worked, too!  I asked her if she knew what the words meant, but she didn't. I couldn't even repeat either word, as they were in Arabic (a language she does not actually know how to speak) and all I could hear clearly was that they ended with -allah.  Basically, she was taught to use these words like some sort of magical incantations, without any explanation as to what they actually meant.

Their dad also believes in the djinn, thinks people get sick because they are possessed by evil spirits and had their mother, who has MS, exorcised.

The more I find out about the environment they were raised in with their father, the more concerned I am about their psychological well being.

Meanwhile, they had an appointment to Skype with their dad this morning, which I only found out about last night.  They neglected to mention it to us until it happened to come up in conversation with Dh.  So we got them set up on the laptop their mom provided for them (which has been a major point of contention between their parents, for the most ridiculous reasons, yet bad enough to be brought to the court level).  At first, we were going to set them up in the living room, where they had more space and could sit comfortably on the couch while both being visible to the web cam on the laptop.  We were told, however, that this would not be good, as they would be talking about "family matters."

Okay, I can respect the desire for privacy, but their father also taught them that not to talk about "family matters" with their own mother, too.  Considering some of the things we've heard them saying afterwards, I have concerns as to just what is discussed as "family matters."

So...

They got all dressed up in pretty dresses and sat together in their little chairs in front of the laptop, which we've had to set up on the top of a storage bin we gave them for their toys, waiting.  We did warn them that they might not be able to talk to their dad, as Dh told me he couldn't get into the account their dad had set up for them (turns out they just couldn't remember the password), so I'd made a new one.  I sent the information to their dad by email, but had not received a response.  In fact, we'd heard nothing from him yet, but figured there's a lot going on right now at his end.  If he hadn't checked his email, he wouldn't know how to connect with them.  Since they couldn't remember what his Skype name was, I couldn't sent an invite.  After a while, I did try something and logged them out.  When going to log back in again, I checked the drop down list and found his Skype name on the list, so I was able to send an invite to him.

Anyhow, they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

After a while of sitting quietly, staring at the computer, waiting for some sort of pop up or call notice or... anything, they finally started to get chatty.

That's when The Watcher started telling me about the wallpaper on their laptop.  It's the cover artwork for a children's movie called Muhammad: The Last Prophet.

Now, I'd never heard of the movie before, but Eldest noticed it and she *had* heard of it before.  It's notorious for being an incredibly terrible movie, made only because of the popularity of The Prince of Egypt.  We are all also aware that, in Islam, portraying living things is haram, and portraying an image of Muhommad is especially haram (though apparently Muhammad himself is never depicted in the movie).  Even their mom, on seeing the wallpaper, mentioned to me that the image was actually forbidden by Islam.

I didn't mention this to them.  I don't think they're ready to hear it yet.  There's just too much else they need to deal with.

The Watcher then went on and on about how this was her favourite movie and how great it was; that they watched a download of it and tried to find it at the library, but the library didn't know what they were talking about, so they borrowed another movie about the prophet instead, but it wasn't the same one...  Then Beetle Child piped up to say that, now she had "that song" stuck in her head, a song from the movie, which was also her favourite movie and it had her favourite song in it...

Hmmm...  Depending on the sect, isn't music also haram in Islam? :-/

After almost half an hour, we gave up waiting.  Understandably, they were quite upset.  About an hour later, however, we got a call from an international number.  It was their dad. It turns out that he has not been able to find a reliable internet connection yet.

Almost as soon as they started talking, with each of the girls on a different handset, they started bickering, with Beetle Child tattling on The Watcher for a laundry list of minor irritants and complaints, and The Watcher throwing in her own accusation right back.

Then the call got dropped.

When it became clear the call was completely cut off, Dh had a conversation with them.  He pointed out that they were going to be able to talk to their dad only once a week, and did they really think he'd want to hear them bickering and complaining right away?  They both started to make excuses ("that's what I'm used to" is their most common justification for their behaviour), but he shut that down and told them again why it wasn't a good idea to do this, that it would make their father worry at a time when he's far away and can't do anything about it, etc.

Then the phone rang again.  It was their dad, trying again.  We got both girls back on the handsets again and...

They immediately started complaining about each other, at the same time, even worse than before.

*sigh*

Thankfully, today was their day to visit with their mom, and she was able to talk to them about a few things - including the fact that the reason they hadn't been able to see her for so long was NOT because she didn't want to see them.

These poor kids.

I just hope we will be able to help them.